The trip enchants you and makes you happy, everything is going well, better than ever. So why this sudden blues, this feeling of loneliness?
Here you are launched into the adventure of the great journey. Every day you realise that everything is much easier than you imagined. There are not so many problems and most of the time they give you good life lessons and make you more flexible, happier.
To your great surprise, you have never been as surrounded as when you are travelling. In your hostel, you chat with other travellers, you group together for outings. In the street, there is always someone to start a conversation, people easily bond.
Your lonely TV dinner is over ! No more shopping at the anonymous supermarket and gone are the busy relationships, always busy when it comes to meet.
As far as social networks are concerned, you are hyperactive! So many Likes in response to your travel photos!
So everything is going very well, so why does this feeling of loneliness, this slimy blues overwhelm you when you’ve never been so well surrounded? Everything enchants you, everything fills you with wonder and amazement! You are overwhelmed by a wave of sadness, a silent tsunami of nostalgia.
Feeling alone when you are not alone, a real paradox
“Why these rivers, suddenly on our flowing cheeks? In the anthill, it’s ultra-modern solitude“. Souchon sings it and illustrates so well this feeling of loneliness, of emptiness that suddenly embraces our hearts, that it would almost be enough to answer the question.
This bluesy feeling of travelling solo is frequent, the feeling of loneliness in the middle of the crowd can also seize us at the end of the world.
Perhaps it’s precisely because of this bubbling of positive emotions that everything suddenly overwhelms you?
Travelling alone is an opportunity, a constructive and powerful experience that helps us to find within ourselves the strength, determination and ability for happiness that we thought we were lacking. But being alone for the social animals that are humans can be quite a burden. Sometimes you miss the person who would share these adventures, who would remember them with you. The one who looks at you and observes this metamorphosis, this blossoming, who is a witness to it. This strong bond may be missing for the most daring adventurer.
To build or rebuild yourself alone is more difficult than as a couple
Building ourselves alone is sometimes difficult, not only because we have to do all the work, but because we are afraid to be alone once we have come a long way. Finding ourselves, be on our own allows us to better know who we are and what we want, we must assert ourselves! Don’t panic, this stage does not lead to a secluded life far from the world, on the contrary, it makes it easier to apprehend the relationship with others.
The feeling of loneliness of the journey sometimes reflects an emotional lack, to be alone for long time isn’t easy
If travel teaches us to stand on our own two legs without crutches, emotionally or materially, a solo trip can put our need for love to the test of loneliness. If you’ve always lived as a couple or in a family, when the excitement of the first few months subsides, that’s when the blues hit. It’s normal, but not so few travellers fall apart after a few weeks and can no longer bear the lack of loved ones or relatives stayed at home. After a few days, enthusiasm will regain the upper hand.
This feeling of loneliness can help you to become aware of a toxic and suffocating pattern
Some travellers make great sacrifices. Far from everything, they should be freed from their chains. Yet they are tightening: daily phone calls prevent them from being flexible and from doing with their days or nights as they please.
They absolutely must go back to the hotel, just as one goes home to be there, at the rendezvous, at attention. This strange ballet is not unidirectional. This dictatorship of control beyond the borders is sometimes the initiative of those who stayed at home but also of the traveller.
No wonder then that the blues of loneliness shows its nose. By dint of being “with them” and alone at the same time, the psyche becomes a little tangled up in ideas. This between two chairs ends up making the heart and soul ache.
Wouldn’t it be time to make a decision?
There are many nuances of emotional deprivation. From the totally insecure person who cannot venture anywhere without holding the hand of his companion to those who barricade themselves in solitude for fear of lack, there are many choices
This feeling of loneliness perhaps reflects this tug-of-war between the desire for freedom, and therefore loneliness, and the lack of love.
Fortunately, these empty passages are punctual and the enrichment that the journey represents quickly takes its toll and the blues will disappear as quickly as it came.
If these fleeting crises are overcome, they learn that love comes in many forms, that the world is vast and that it is possible to be fulfilled far from social standards. A solo long-distance trip will not turn you into a lonely hermit but will certainly change your ability to be alone… and happy.
That’s all well and good, but what can you do about it?
Think about it!
It is welcome to ask ourselves what we are really missing. A crutch, a guide, a tutor, an accomplice? Take the time to analyse where this feeling of emptiness comes from. A quick introspection can overcome the uneasiness.
Ask yourself questions about needs that seem to go unfulfilled, even when travelling, even in this change of life that you have done everything to achieve. You will no doubt see the evidence that this solitude is not the cause but the consequence of an expectation that may be too great, impossible to fulfil.
Don’t isolate yourself, connect with others
In these moments of swell do not withdraw into yourself. This is a good time to ask other travellers if they don’t feel like having a drink or going out for a walk. The more you focus on your discomfort, the more you will suffer from it.
Get back into positive mode
Look around you, think about the last few months, the next few days. Remember all the beautiful things you have been lucky enough to see, to contemplate. Think about all these encounters, consider how far you’ve come. Observe what surrounds you with sincerity. Are you hungry, cold? Are you harassed, beaten, repressed? You are at the end of the world, you are going to meet the unknown, the unknown within you.
Take an interest in others
It’s an attitude that suits everyday life, but in the event of a blues crisis, it’s more appropriate. Get closer to others, listen to their stories. Yes, to receive, you often have to start by giving!
Whether it’s a night watchman, a dormitory companion, a neighbour on the landing, everything is good for breaking the solitude.
Plan ahead: tomorrow is another day
What are you going to do tomorrow? What activities have you planned? Maybe it’s time to join a free-walking tour, an excursion or visit a museum.
At the end of the day, get some rest, slow down the pace and after a real good night’s sleep, you’ll surely feel up to it.
If all this doesn’t cheer you up, think you’re doing what few of us can afford. Enjoy this precious freedom!
