Everyone says: leave and live! For many of us, leaving is very difficult. So what prevents us from leaving for our greatest happiness?
If you ask this question, the answer is often that you don’t have the means (which is not true), the time, the money. May the the family, the job prevent you from leaving, or sometimes that is not the ideal moment. All these reasons are not the real obstacles. You can go on a trip with your children. We now see whole families going on the road for one or two years or more. You can find work elsewhere, save money, take a gap year. Whatever the situation, you can still make that dream come true ut the reasons are sowhere else.
If you leave, you will lose them: Fear of losing one’s place
The problem is rarely material. I meet quite a few rich (money) people and I see travellers of all sizes, of all ages. The fear of “losing one’s place” is one of the most powerful brakes. Leaving your circle means facing the fear of it closing in behind you and it is very paralyzing.
So you have to be really strong, but above all you have to believe in yourself. I’ve heard so many negative comments like “you’re never gonna make it,” “it’s too dangerous” or, “this is the most irresponsible decision you’ve ever made!“. It’s clear then that leaving is not a trivial project.
The resistance of your relatives who don’t want to see you leave and realise your dreams is super strong
The family and intimate circle can be very unfavourable to this change and it is sometimes difficult to get over it.
Regardless of the method used, this circle will try to dissuade you from casting off.
To clarify this situation, it is important to be aware of it and especially to talk about it with your relatives.
It is an dicussion that can be very beneficial. On the one hand, the relationship you have with your circle can be revealed in its true light. On the other hand, this confrontation will put your motivation to the test. Your determination and the strength you put into this start is your engine, it is good to test its power a little!
Struggeling in the routine but stay in. May because fear of change?
Many people dream about it, they say “if I could“. However, when they can actually do it, when nothing holds them back, fear of change, apprehension prevents them from making their decision.
They hide behind the wrong reasons. If you give them the solution, they repress it with another argument.
They don’t really want to leave but they can’t or won’t admit it. Deep down inside, they are not ready to change their lives, what they want is for life to change from alone. Changing everything without changing anything!
If the desire for change titillates you, it is because somewhere deep down inside you there is the resource available to become or remain in control of your life again. This is a great quality, use it!
Affraid to leave: Fear of the future?
These are hard times for dreamers. Nomads are threatened by every possible disaster. The threat of not (never?) finding work is a legitimate concern. Yet one or two years of exploration and travel on a CV can become a strong argument for a recruiter!
Whether you are a young graduate or in the middle of your professional life, the risk of encountering difficulties in finding or regaining work is no more proven than the presence of aliens in Roswell.
Other opportunities may open up for you. Who knows, you will find other desires, other paths, other rhythms that will push you to create your company… The journey is very inspiring, it brings a lot of light in a spirit in search of an answer.
Leave to live your life and love again: A trip to self-discovery
My journey was to search for myself, to find another way to use this life and all the time I have left.
To leave is to walk a path, but it is not to find one’s place. That’s not what travel is all about. Leaving helps us to take distance and change our perspective on who we are. Roaming helps us to test our limits, to discover unsuspected abilities. This journey helps us reacquaint ourselves with the adult person we have become over time.
The most valuable thing that the journey can bring us is certainly to become aware of all this, but most of all to realize that it is possible to change.
And I think that’s worth all the psychoanalysis in the world.
Evelyn and her daughter’s sprain
Evelyne is single, she travels solo from time to time for a period of one month.
When I meet her, she finishes her tour of Greece in a rental car and is about to enjoy her last weeks between Athens and the Greek islands.
She was all turned around that morning because her 18-year-old daughter had a bad sprained ankle. She went to the hospital and is not to set foot on land for 15 days.
Evelyne feels terribly guilty for not being by her side. She’s burning with the desire to go back to France right away.
I ask her if her presence will change anything in her daughter’s situation.
She takes a few seconds before answering that no, her father is there, her boyfriend and his friends too. She has visitors, more than enough for a convalescence and everyone is there to help her.
What’s hard for Evelyne is not her daughter’s real need, but her own need to be with her. This feeling of imperative is strongly upset by the fact that she is doing very well without her mother.
Most of the time it is not the real demand of the children but the difficulty of parents to be no longer at the centre of their lives. Evelyne will remain in Greece, with a light heart: her daughter lacks nothing and the support she can give her can be done from a distance. Mother and daughter have become more independent and life goes on!
Leave for a long trip when you have kids is not impossible
I love my kids more than anything in the world, but I don’t miss them, and believe me, they don’t miss me either.
Like all children, they’ve grown up and they too have gone out into the world. They have dedicated themselves to building their love, family, sports and professional lives. But nothing is simple. In some families, the parent-child relationship is still based on closeness.
I meet many parents for whom distance from their adult children is inconceivable.
I often find myself caught between two judgements: the unworthy mother whom one despises or the free woman whom one wonders. You have to be prepared for this type of reaction because it can be very hurtful and, above all, false!
Dropping the moorings is a real challenge when you’ve lived as a family. It’s a new life.
But going on a trip far and long is not giving up what is important to you!
As far as the children are concerned, I remain deeply convinced that it is possible to reconcile travel and family.
Today’s technology makes it possible to stay in touch almost permanently. If your little ones need to hear you, they will call you via Messenger, Skype or Whatsapp. If they want to see you, they’ll activate the camera.
If they want to be close to you, they will come and visit you and it will be an opportunity to live a beautiful parent-child adventure.